I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
