If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She announced her abortion via fbk
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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