I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
