can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize