I feel like I'm in dance class right now
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
