can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
