Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
