I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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