i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize