how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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