im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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