I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
