I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
