I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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