I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
