You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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