A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
