handjob tips. give me some.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
