every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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