saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize