You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
