I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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