It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
