in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
