Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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