After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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