Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
FUCK WHALES
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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