There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
