my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
