I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
