Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
