I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
