Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
