I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
