did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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