We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
