AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize