I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
dude. I can hear the air.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
