I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
