used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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