Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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