I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I need to sanitize my soul.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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