i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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