best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize