my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize