I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
