This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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