got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
