I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
