Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
