Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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