I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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