I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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