Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize