Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just pee around me
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
