You made me cry and you don't even care
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
