I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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