Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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