Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize